I want you to hear Jesus call you his friend. This is week five in a series on friendship.
SCRIPTURE: John 15:1-17
REFLECTION:
Jesus says, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
I followed the story of speed skaters Brittany Bowe and Erin Jackson from the Olympic trials in the US, to the Beijing Olympic games. I tuned in, just in time, to watch the 500 M qualifying race. Everything seemed ordinary until the post-race interview. Brittany Bowe, the first place finisher, stood next to Erin Jackson, the third place finisher, and the announcer told us the news.
Erin uncharacteristically slipped during the qualifying event. She fell to third place, narrowly missing her chance to compete in the Olympics. She won four of the last eight World Cups in the 500 M race. But, Brittany, the veteran skater who finished first that day, gave up her Olympic spot in the 500 M race to Erin. Because she said, Erin is faster and has a better chance of winning Gold for the US.
And, then, Erin said this, “The world has long since known that [Brittany] is a great athlete. With her gesture to me, the world got to see that she is a great leader of our speed skating team, a great person, and a great friend.”
Erin Jackson went on to win the Gold Medal in the 500 M Speed Skating race. She is the first black woman to win a Gold Medal in the sport.
And, Brittany Bowe won the first Olympic Medal of her long speed-skating career. The Bronze Medal in the 1000 M race.
I want you to hear the moment Jesus calls us his friends.
“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When Jesus says this to his disciples at the end of his own life, in one breath, he calls us his friends and compels us to follow him into a life of transformational friendship.
“You are my friends,” Jesus says, “if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you.”
This phrase, “to lay down one’s life,” is unique to John the Gospel writer and only appears again in the New Testament in the letters of John, probably written by someone who shared the gospel writer’s community and mimicked his style.
In John chapter 10, Jesus says, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”
We know from the gospel context that to lay down one’s life, means to risk everything.
Three hundred years before Jesus calls his disciples his friends, Aristotle wrote “The Nicomachean Ethics,” a foundational work in the field of ethics that greatly influenced the development of western theology. Several chapters deal with our topic, friendship.
Aristotle writes that the highest form of friendship is held between two equals, two people of integrity, “two good people,” he says, and their friendship is built on one thing: they each want the best for the other.
Some friendships are built on exchanging things, like pleasure, enjoyment, or utility, getting something from the friendship. But, as Aristotle points out, pleasure and utility always come to an end.
In true friendship nothing is wanted or exchanged. The highest form of friendship is about wanting the best for your friend.
Aristotle evaluates the relationships of two people of unequal power, kings and subjects, masters and servants, shepherds and sheep, fathers and children, discussing to what extent each person of unequal power can be friends with the other. And, I wonder if it is his philosophical influence we hear in Jesus’ words, “I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.”
Everything Jesus knows, he passes on to us. Everything he has, he gives. Every love he shares with God, he extends. Jesus wants our good. If ever there was a hierarchy of knowing and loving, it is broken down, flattened in friendship, into one love, that Jesus invites all people to share in.
Later in the Gospel in prayer, Jesus prays to God, “The glory that you have given me, I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me, and have loved them, even as you have loved me.”
Jesus calls us his friends. He lays down his life for us. There is no greater love.
The US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy writes, “While loneliness has the potential to kill, connection has even more potential to heal. Some of the oldest medicines we have – love and compassion – can be deployed by everyone.”
There is great risk, and loss of life, associated with loneliness. Murthy writes, “the risk of mortality from loneliness, equals smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It exceeds the risk of obesity.” The real risks of friendlessness are staggering. Does this give us even greater courage to take risks for love’s sake in friendship?
There are not many opportunities for me to risk everything for a friend. But, we do take risks in friendship, don’t we? I tell friends the truth about my experiences when they are going through something similar, risking vulnerability and rejection, because I want them to know they are not alone, so that they can find peace.
There are not many opportunities for me to give up my life for a friend. But, we do offer our days, or many days over a season, to our friends, don’t we?
Last year, I dropped everything and drove to pick up a friend, within 15 minutes of hearing their totally depleted voice on the phone. I called just to check in around mid-day, and discovered, over the phone, that the day was possibly the worst day of my friend’s entire life. And, God gave me the opportunity to say, “I’ll be right there.”
I didn’t lay down my entire life, but I did offer my afternoon. I pushed ‘pause’ on my plans, my day, my own worries, for my friend. I set down my preoccupation with myself, in favor of a greater love.
I’ve heard people say that they think their friends don’t want the intrusion, or the attention, or the intimacy of being told, “I’ll be right there.” But, our friends want it. They want and need, and made in the image of God, they deserve that greater love.
My favorite story in the Gospel of John is this: “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him.
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
Jesus answered, “You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.”
Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!”
Wash feet, offer your afternoon, lay down your life, there is no greater love.
QUESTIONS FOR STUDY:
Who is Jesus? People call Jesus by many names–Shepherd, Savior, Lord; how comfortable are you with calling Jesus your friend?
What have you given up for your friends? Your afternoon (like me)? Or your Olympic spot? Or something else? Did your friend know about it, or did you keep it a secret? What have your friends given up for you?
Do you pray for your friends? What friends are you praying for now?
Jesus abides in us, as God abides in him, Jesus says. Abide, here, means to live with or dwell among. With what friends have you abided? Tell a story about roommates you have loved.
Are you lonely? Please commit to telling one person about your feelings of loneliness.
ADDITIONAL READING:
“Nicomachean Ethics” by Aristotle
Children’s Reading: “A Sick Day for Amos McGee” by Philip C. Stead
OTHER INSPIRATION:
TIME Article “The History of Speed Skaters Brittany Bowe’s and Erin Jackson’s Friendship On and Off the Ice”
PRAYER OF RESTORATION:
Almighty God,
you love us, but we have not loved you
with our whole heart.
We walk away from neighbors in need
thinking it’s someone else’s turn to help.
We trade honest, deep friendships
for infrequent, superficial time with acquaintances
who neither challenge nor change us.
We isolate ourselves
from strangers and friends alike,
thinking it is easier to be alone,
than to risk the realization
that it is us who needs to change.
Holy God, help us to face up to ourselves,
so that, as you move toward us in mercy,
we may turn to you and enjoy your mercy,
and your friendship,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
HYMNS: “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”, “What A Friend We Have in Jesus,” “O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go”
TWO COPPER COINS 